5 Ways to know when it is time for a Hair-morphosis!

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Hello Dolls,

They say a women who changes her hair is ready to change her life, and that could not be closer to the truth! I recently cut my hair, some like 11”, no biggie (still a BIGGIE actually) to a very luscious blunt bob, huge change but it was necessary and exhilarating.

Below are my top 5 ways us gals know it is time for a change.

1. Simply, basically, truthfully “YO WEAVE NEEDS HELP”, it is dead beyond repair, yea, no matter how much mayo you put on it, it is DEAD. WALK AWAY. It no longer shines, you style it but there is no hiding the nasty ends, crazy frizz, you really got to change it.

2. You have gone through all of your Facebook Profile Pics, mhmmm, you have! And have noticed the same length, same color, same style in pretty much all of your pictures? ‘Nuff Said.

3. You suddenly feel so bored with yourself, something is off, you can’t seem to shake the feeling of routine/ non excitement. Going from long length, to Blonde Bob will definitely shake it up for you!

4. You look at your hair and are utterly dumbfounded. You don’t know what to do with it, and so you do the unthinkable for days on end, yup the messy bun, except yours is not cute…anymore.

5. If you are ready to start new, if you are making a change then also make a statement! I always like to mark big changes in my life with a new ‘do. I told you that quote holds true.

Hair is so captivating when its just flowing, glowing or just owned by the woman. So make a change and wear it proud, plus just between us girls… it grows back!

Ten Things I HATE About YOU (A dedication to my ex)

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Happy Valentine’s day!

Unfortunately this post will not be about LOVE but rather the loss or cutting loose of a past ONE. Oddly enough, for strange and way-the-earth-works type of thing today will be the day my ex and I cut ties for what I hope to be a long time. At least long enough for some of the hurt and distaste to subside.
This is my list of things that I do dislike about him, a list I have to get off my chest, and NO unlike this movie this wont end in an actual list of things I LOVE. Sorry hopeless romantics, not TODAY.

1. I hate your view on HELP. I utterly am disgusted that you really dislike helping people, you don’t believe in it and you would rather distance yourself than admit you can not help or maybe try to lend a hand to someone.

2. Your Work Ethic, although I may not be a lot of things, I am hard-ass-worker! It comes from seeing my parents struggle and hustle and repeat. My knowledge may not be grand but I can always roll up my sleeves and put in werk, while you rather not. You take no pride in your work and you don’t take it seriously. It makes you look completely mediocre and also tells me as a potential partner you may not be able to sustain a job, much less a roof over anyone’s head.

3. I hate that you always scoffed at any sign of weakness from me. See #1. But what bugs the crap out of me is whenever I cried you almost thought it was a form of extortion. You were almost offended and you never comforted me. I hate that you did that time after time, and that was the start of the major issues you and I had, it slowly diminished us.

4. I hate that you couldn’t keep it in your pants. I hate that while you were ignoring my calls, missing our dates, you had the time and audacity to entertain someone’s attention. It stings, that maybe had you given me or us the appropriate space in your life we might have worked. Or had you been honest, things would have never of gone this  far South.

4.5. In that case I hate you lied so well.

5. I hate that you enjoyed watching me panic. You almost I got a thrill every time you saw me flustered by you.  Every time you would lie about your location and had me on a wild goose chase to find you in the middle of the night, or every time you disappeared and left me circling like a dog who will never quite catch its tail. I always felt so embarrassed and knew deep inside that “normal” people didn’t do this.

6. Normal people don’t do half the shit you did, and I hate that while you revealed to me you were deeply sick I stayed and pulled you closer. I hate that broken somehow meant stay. And while I bled picking up the pieces (that is actually what you are, pieces) you kept running away from the real issues in your life and never looked back to help.

7. I hate that you put me in dangerous situations. I hate that you ignored how dangerous you could always be.

8. I hate that you blamed me. In the drunk-est of your nights and right after the incident you blamed me for the repercussions. At one point you even admitted to believing I made it all up. But I didn’t, and recently you went there and I finally believed it myself.

9. I hate that you have turned to drugs. I hate that you are controlled by it, because although it is sad, reality is you are running away from yourself, which means you will be sick for a long time.

10. I hate that I can count the times you said I was beautiful with my hands, possibly even just 1, most of all I hate that I was ok with that.

“Charlie, we accept the love we think we deserve.”- S.C

for me today is a day of self-love.

Tinder-ella!

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GUILTY, I ‘FESS UP!

I have been an active user of TINDER for less than a year, but nonetheless ACTIVE.

Yes, go ahead and judge… done?

At first it started off as a joke, and the a little bit more obsessive as the guys got hotter and the matches doubled. Right away I was hooked and talking to more men than I ever had at ONCE.

NO, by any means have I found my prince charming, quite opposite actually. I have never met more blunt-sex-fiending-men in my life. Oh yes, this is my disturbed tone.

I am all for honesty by all means, but this “community” is CRAZY! I mean these people go and choose you as a potential mate, then you move on to a private chat area where you can, more or less, get to know each other… CRICKETS.

All you get is a “where you from?”, “what you do for fun” and then almost like clock work, “sex?”

NO! no no no no nooooooooooo– Kevin Hart voice.

But serious, can a girl get a drink first, actually, you have no job? Can a girl get 3 drinks first!!!!!?

I mean no dates? no meeting first? It is so scary. I really thought since I work literally all the time that this was a great way to meet people in the area, because of course it is GPS enabled and tells you how close they are and what not. NOT CREEPY. But really.

Also, some of these guys wont jump to “sex?” but will continue to chat with you, for days, weeks, months, maybe even years! WTF. Do you want to ever…meet…me? CREEPY!

I am in utter confusion at how this all works. But most of all some these girls that have successful TINDER love stories… I bow down because this shit is weird.

#butimstillontindertho

xoxo,

Deb

How I learned to stop body bashing and start loving my curves

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Hello Dolls,

Lawd knows I can not hide the fact that I have most definetely put on some more weight on top of more weight.

and as much as sometimes I get pissy about it, I know that I will pull it off and eventually work it off!

This post is dedicated to honoring our curves, honoring MY curves. Recently I wore this outfit, and although I feel I am at the biggest I have ever been I friggin’ loved the outfit so I couldn’t let a little fat stop me.

I put on my best shoes, a good lippy and went out dancing with my friends.

Yes I am fat, but I will decide what I wear, because I have enough sense to know what will not work, sorry I am not sorry to say this worked for me. 🙂

to all my girl that love to dress up, that love a certain top or skirt or style but it isnt conventional for us plus sized women to wear it, to you I say YOLO.

#iamfatbutnotugly

xoxo,
Deb

So cha cha chaud!

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So cha cha chaud!

Lipstick: MAC lipstick in “So Chaud”

Inspiration: my fabulous MAC makeup counter artist was ama-zing for suggesting this color.

I walked up to him and I told him I needed a new look, and after I let him know I am mostly a NUDE LIPPY kind of gal he reached for the color and dazzled me! Love the orange-y hint to it with out looking extra crazy! It is a perfect switch up to my nude or barely there pink I tend to wear.

Honestly love the boldness of this lip that I pair it with BIG HOOPS for the complete bad biiish look.

When the City that Never Sleeps meets the Dreamer

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Hello Dolls,

I am back from my first “adult” vacation EVER and it was amazing.

ImageI have had such a crazy-awesome year working for my company that it just flew by, but it was most definitely time for a little getaway.

It has been my DREAM to live in NYC and I figured it was time to pay a little visit.

New York was exactly the fabulous picture they always seem to paint, it was never short of LIFE, FAST, and FAB!

Although I did begin my journey as soon as the second polar vortex hit, the cold could never stop me.

Oh and did I mention I went ALONE. Yes,  this vacation no one could accompany but I was also not going to wait for anyone. Although yes, I was hesitant and a bit anxious of being eaten alive by the big apple I most def took my bite out of it and i LOVED it.

I did do all the touristy things, from Grand Central Station to walking the Brooklyn Bridge (to get to the most delish pizza, aside from Italy that is) I did it all, well sort of.

I hit up all my connections I had in the area and made plans to hang out with them all and that was just LOVELY.

But my favorite part was being completely swallowed up by the sights, the people, the snow, and the noise. My eyes were constantly lit up by the smallest things, I spent about 2 hours at kids toy store, totally random but I was fine doing nonsensical things by spending my time exactly how I wanted it.

I wish I could capture all the emotions I felt, from loneliness to complete comfort all at the same time. I was aware I was alone but I truly appreciated the ME time.

Oh and the New Yorkers LOVED me, not to toot my own horn or anything but there is something about a happy woman that just attracts loveliness. That Deb was so optimistic, artistic and open. I was open to the beauty of my dreams, the fear of rejection, the thought of looking effing crazy sitting at the bar ALONE, and open to the idea of forever being lost.

It was an ultimate sign of self love. I think I don’t give myself enough credit. I really believe I am the toughest to myself, I am the first to yell at myself for being wrong, I worry and beat myself up for things I have yet to fuck up, but I think this trip really made me stop running from myself. I realized how comfortable I am in my own skin, how happy I am with myself, and if all else were to fail and I spent my life seeing all the beautiful things in the world alone, well I would be just fine.

After a few weeks or months or periods of looking for validation in others, in New York I was completely validated by myself.

I had so many people gawk at my age and me traveling alone, they were honestly shocked and that made me so proud of myself. Every year, every month, every day I KNOW that I am making moves towards my end goal. I am so proud of myself, I am so happy New York was such an unforgettable time, and I am ultimately extremely blessed.

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So if you are reading my blog **crosses fingers**, I challenge you to look at your bucket list, yes that one, find the thing on the list you keep waiting for someone to push you to do, to accompany  to do with you and cross it off. Get up and do it. You will feel invincible because there is something to be said about having courage, about doing something to please and reward the soul, I promise you will never regret it. Get out of your head and into the world, your future self will always thank you.

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Update: I am SO moving there in the next year. Watch me.

Pretty in Plaid, Boy Please.

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I wore a plaid shirt to a bar on Sunday.

A drunk, very drunk Boy came over.

He gasped as he saw my face, he said I looked lovely, pointing to my face.

He went down my body, and stopped at my plaid shirt,

“But that shirt, please don’t slap me”, he begged, “but that shirt is not, it’s just why did you wear it to here, you wasn’t trying to get any right?”

“But you’re hella cute! Like I just don’t know why?” He kept staring at my shirt!

I tried really hard to not slap him, i mean i really like this bar and I can’t get banned from here, BUT WTF!

Dear Mr. Uncalled for,

What I wear has nothing to do with you, what I eat doesn’t make you shit!

Please keep your comments to yourself.

I wear what I want to wear, I wear what I want to express how I feel. To experiment, and to have fun. I wore that outfit to feel a certain way and it never had anything to do with him, or you, or who ever.

I was very upset, and so I asked another guy on my way to the bathroom, because I was really curious about why he was compelled to say something. Maybe I offended him. Maybe he wasnt alone. This other man applauded my fashion statement (if any), he said it backwards thinking, and I rocked it well.

Plaid shirts are seen on men, I am a woman, I have a vagina, it doesnt make me less that I wear ’em and i think you should just shut UP!

Wear what you want, wear it loud and proud. If he didnt like it I will wear it again, because it does not matter and a man that tries to control mine or anyone’s way of dress is a Neanderthal and frankly has more insecurities than I would care to find.

frankly, I looked Hot AF.

The Sweetest Thing

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There is something to be said about the very popular quote, People may forget what you said, but the will never forget the way you made them feel…

As much I want to write this off as one of Oprah’s favorite things, and something straight out of a Ryan Gosling Meme, I can’t because there is so much truth to this.

Recently, in one of my meetings at work it came up that I should always be very careful how I speak to clients, or anyone I am working with because one never knows how the tables one day can turn. It wasn’t anything specifically I was doing wrong but more of an FYI, a pro tip, so to speak.

Make them happy, make them feel happy when they speak to you. It is in the body language, in that extra smile or eye contact you choose to give or not.

I got to realizing that no matter how competent and organized I did my job, if I was not someone that made anyone feel anything it would be really hard to get an “in”.

It is almost like what really matters is the after taste you leave them with… gross but true.

I was getting caught up in being taken seriously that I became almost of a bitter taste, kill ’em with kindness… People will come back to you with fond memories if you just are nice.

That was a hard concept as well, well what if I dont feel-niiice right now, what if some idiot just cut me off, I was late and rushing and could not get that 3rd coat of mascara to make me feel super confident, I don’t wannabe nice -type of feeling. Suck it up, people deserve the best of you, people you are at one point going to need something from specially. But because life is sometimes a little nuts, those you least expect it could offer something of much value to you in the future…

a contact

a job

a reccomendation

a friendship

a relationship

a loan, the list is ENDLESS!

food for thought.

I have since changed my feelings towards the quote. Why not make people feel good, if for the amount of time you interact, 5 seconds, a glance, a month or a season, make them feel good! It feels good to know you are somewhat of the sweetest things in life.